以前小编总是会告诉大家,语言存在互通性,但是这个不代表在我们进行英文写作时,将我们的中性写作思维融进去。今天,易世英语的专业英语老师来为大家提点一下那些我们需要堤防的雅思写作错误。
图源网络,侵删
差异一、英语前重心,汉语后重心
先来看一个例子,一封来自学员的E-mail:
Dear Kevin,
Though I know you are busy, will you give me some minutes, I had to go to work as long as I finished the class today, so I am off duty until now because the problem of double roles made me so boring and tired ,I work in a hospital and it is also teaching hospital ,and I will be a player to attend teaching competition,too much things I have to face and even these days I had to stay up all night. will you do me a favour that tell me how to balance the problem between work and study?Latter I will email the homework to you which you gave me this afternoon .
yours truly
XXX
这是一封非常典型的中式思维的信件。中式的思维是按照自然顺序展开论述,如:按照时间先后,先说先发生的,后说后发生的;按照逻辑关系,则按照事物发展的先后逻辑顺序展开,先说前提、原因、条件、方式、手段等,后说结果。而英文则按照重点顺序展开论述,把重要的观点、态度、结论等交代清楚,开门见山,然后再展开叙述次要信息,如理由、条件、事实、例证等等。即:英文将语意的中心要放在前面,然后娓娓道来,分解叙事。了解这一点,对于同学们展开雅思作文的段落非常有用。
回过头来看这封E-mail,如果一个外国人看到,肯定一头雾水,因为他不知道你这封信的重点是什么,因为信件的开头大段讲述个人的情况、经历等等,而直到最后才提出问题。如果按照英语的思维,应该开门见山的向收信人提出问题,然后再展开细节进行叙述。
差异2、英文先结果,后原因
因为我爱他而不是恨他,所以我才会批评他。
I criticized him, not because I hate him but because I love him.
也许校园生活并非总像想象中的那样,所以很多学生才会感到失落。
Many students feel lost because campus life is not always what they imagined.
差异3、英文先结论,后叙事
经过多年的努力,我们终于解决了这个难题。
We have solved the problem after many years’ hard work.
差异4、英语重形合,汉语重意合
英语是一种非常讲究语法的语言,而语法关系则通过一定的外显形态标记来表现;而中文则不用形态变化,靠词序、虚词、上下文关系等来表达语法关系。正如王力先生在《中国语法理论》“欧化的语法”一章中说:中国话里多用意合法,联结成分并非必须;西文多用形合法,联结成分在大多数情况下是必不可少的。” 如:
他正在看这本书。He is reading this book.
他已经看了这本书。He has read this book.
这个例子比较简单,很多同学对此已经比较熟悉了,但是在写作中却经常有同学在这些方面错误不断。
在汉语里,句子和句子之间通过内在的意义而非形式的逻辑关系来连接,因此常常省略连词、代词等成分。如:
要大力弘扬新时代的雷锋精神!
发展体育运动,增强人民体质!
因此我们可以看出,在汉语中,连接手段是非必须的,人们完全可以通过全句整体来判断出词语前后隐含的关系。而在英文中,这种隐含的关系必须被“显性”化。如:
他买了台电脑,花了六千块。
就绝对不能写成:He bought a computer, spent 6000 yuan.
而必须写成:He bought a computer which cost him 6000 yuan.或 He spent 6000 yuan on a computer.
他今天没来,妈妈住院了。
就不能写成:He is absent today, mother is ill.
而要写成:He is absent today because his mother is hospitalized.
这种只求“意思”不讲“形式”的句子在汉语里比比皆是,如:
我们换个地方,教室正在上课呢!
现在很饿了,我们去吃食堂!
十块钱一下子就花光了!
如果不考虑英汉的差别,直接按照中文思维写出:We change a place,the classroom is having a class./ Now is hungry, we go to eat the dining hall./Ten yuan spends finished. 之类则要闹出大笑话来。
差异5、英语先表态,后叙事
是什么导致了人的犯罪,我们还不能确定。
We are still not sure what causes people to commit a crime
死记硬背有很多的局限性,这一点我们必须承认。
We should admit that rote learning has a number of limitations.
差异6、英语多替换,汉语多重复
由于英文重形合,所以通过各种形合手段将比较大量的信息连接在一个句子里,联系紧密,逻辑分明。这种情况下,其代词所指往往比较明确而不易混淆,因此,为了避免单调乏味,英文句子常常采用替换、省略等方式来变换同一个词的表达。而中文则相反,由于汉语主要考意合,考隐含的逻辑贯穿全句,因此为了保持句子的“形散神不散”,就需要通过重复的手段来增强凝聚力,保持读者的注意力。所以,汉语往往不使用同义词等替代手段,因为那样会使得精力分散。如,用代词替代:
他讨厌失败,他一生曾战胜失败,超越失败,并且蔑视别人的失败。
He hated failure, he had conquered it all his life, risen above it, despised it in others.
而不会写成:
He hated failure, he had conquered the failure all his life, risen above the failure, despised the failure in others.
再看一个用同义词替换的例子:
低分版本:
Think about this situation. A student interviewed another student and many students about what it is like to be an only child. If the teachers in charge of the school paper did not edit names of students from the paper or facts that would give that particular student away to other students, then serious problems could be caused for the students who gave their information.
改进版:
Think about this situation. A reporter interviewed many students about what it is like to be an only child. If the teachers in charge of the school paper did not edit names of the interviewees from the paper or facts that would give each person away to the readers, then serious problems could be caused for the students who gave their information.
第一个低分版本里面用了大量重复的单词“student”,非常枯燥乏味,而改进版将“student”用了“reporter”、“the interviewees”、“each person”、“readers”等词来替代,句子用词富于变化,自然生动得多了。因此,在平时的雅思学习过程中,要注意积累同义词、反义词的积累,这样才能在写作中游刃有余,取得高分。